Inside/Outside Feelings
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This worksheet addresses the crucial concept of emotional authenticity versus social masking. It helps children develop insight into when and why their internal experience differs from external presentation. This is particularly valuable for children who smile through pain, those experiencing social pressure, or those learning when it's safe/appropriate to show true feelings. It validates the complex reality that we don't always show what we feel.
Additional Guiding Questions
"Is it okay that these faces are different? When might it be helpful to show different feelings outside than inside?"
"Who in your life sees your inside face most often? Your outside face?"
"When do you feel like your inside and outside faces match?"
"What happens when you keep your inside feelings hidden for too long?"
"Are there places where you feel safe showing your inside face?"
"What would happen if you showed your inside face [at school/at home/with friends]?"
"How does your body feel when your inside and outside don't match?"
"Is there someone you wish could see your inside face more?"
Therapeutic Insights
Chronic discrepancy between inside/outside may indicate:
Social masking (common in autism, ADHD, anxiety)
Emotional suppression
Unsafe environments where authenticity is punished
Difficulty with emotional regulation
Reasons for differences reveal learned patterns and beliefs about emotional expression
Body awareness: Discrepancy often creates physical tension/stress
Additional Considerations
Validate social masking as protective: Not all masking is unhealthy—sometimes we appropriately manage emotional expression
Safety first: If a child feels unsafe showing feelings at home, work on safety planning before encouraging authenticity
Neurodivergent considerations: Many autistic/ADHD children mask extensively and this can be exhausting
Cultural context: Some cultures emphasize emotional restraint; discuss family/cultural values around emotional expression
Goal setting: The goal isn't always perfect matching, but rather conscious choice about when to match and when to mask
Developmental factors: Young children may not yet have discrepancy; older children/teens often experience this intensely
