My Toolbox of Calm: 10 Grounding Techniques

Emotional regulation isn't about stopping feelings—it's about navigating them. Keep these 10 coping skills in your back pocket. They are designed to be simple, quick, and powerful.

Teach these coping skills one at a time. Practice them constantly.

Have the kiddo pick a coping skill from this chart to practice at the beginning of each session.

The more practice, the better!!

The goal is for kiddos to know these coping skills so well that they can ‘pull one out of their pocket’ during times of distress.

Hang this up in your office/ print to have kiddo put in their bedroom as a reminder of the skills they have in their toolbox.

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Grounding Technique

When anxiety creates a tornado of thoughts, this technique acts as an emotional anchor. By systematically engaging each sense, children interrupt the cycle of racing thoughts and reconnect with the present moment. This method is particularly powerful because it creates a tangible, step-by-step process that gives children a sense of control during overwhelming emotions.

How to do it:

• Sit or stand comfortably

• Take a deep breath

• Look around and name 5 things you can see (e.g., "I see a blue chair, a red book, a window...")

• Reach out and touch 4 different objects, noticing their texture (e.g., "This pillow is soft, this table is smooth...")

• Listen carefully and identify 3 sounds around you (e.g., "I hear a car outside, the hum of the refrigerator...")

• Take two deep breaths and notice any smells

• Take a sip of water or lick your lips to engage taste

• Smile - you've just helped your brain feel safe!

2. Butterfly Hug

Rooted in trauma-informed care, the Butterfly Hug mimics the soothing sensation of being held. The bilateral stimulation helps calm the nervous system by engaging both hemispheres of the brain, reducing the intensity of emotional distress. It's a discrete method children can use anywhere, providing a sense of self-comfort and safety.

How to do it:

• Find a comfortable spot to sit or stand

• Take a big, deep breath

• Cross your arms over your chest

• Place your right hand on your left shoulder

• Place your left hand on your right shoulder

• Gently start tapping your shoulders, alternating left and right

• Close your eyes if it feels comfortable

• Breathe slowly and imagine a warm, safe hug

• Continue for 1-2 minutes or until you feel calmer

3. Magic Breathing Squares

This visual breathing technique transforms abstract breath control into a concrete, engaging activity. By creating a visual and tactile experience of breathing, children learn to regulate their breath while providing their anxious minds with a focused, predictable pattern. It's especially helpful for children who struggle with traditional meditation or breathing exercises.

How to do it:

• Stand or sit in a comfortable position

• Hold one hand out in front of you

• Use your pointer finger from the other hand

• Imagine drawing a perfect square in the air

• Trace the top side slowly while inhaling for 4 counts

• Trace the right side while holding your breath for 4 counts

• Trace the bottom side while exhaling for 4 counts

• Trace the left side while holding for 4 counts

• Repeat 2-3 times

• Notice how calm and steady your breathing feels

4. Palm Press Meditation

This technique leverages the power of touch and pressure to ground children in their physical body. The focused sensation helps redirect attention from spiraling thoughts to the present moment. It's a quick, discreet method that can be used in various settings, from classrooms to social situations.

How to do it:

• Sit or stand in a comfortable position

• Bring your hands together in front of you

• Press your palms firmly together

• Feel the warmth between your hands

• Focus on the pressure and sensation

• Start counting slowly in your head

• Count to 10, keeping your palms pressed together

• Take deep breaths

• Release your hands and notice how you feel

5. Cloud Thoughts Visualization

Developed from mindfulness practices, this technique teaches emotional non-attachment. Children learn that thoughts are transient—like clouds passing in the sky—and don't define their worth or determine their emotional state. It's a powerful metaphor for understanding the impermanence of difficult emotions.

How to do it:

• Find a comfortable spot to sit or lie down

• Close your eyes and take a deep breath

• Imagine you're lying on a soft, grassy hill on a sunny day

• Picture the sky as big and blue

• Your thoughts are like clouds floating across this sky

• When a thought comes (happy, sad, or worried), imagine it as a cloud

• Watch the cloud drift slowly across the sky

• Don't try to push the cloud away or hold onto it

• Just watch it float by, changing shape

• If the cloud feels big or scary, imagine it's just a fluffy, harmless cloud

• Take another deep breath

• Open your eyes when you're ready

• Remember: thoughts come and go, just like clouds

6. Body Scan Relaxation

This technique helps children develop body awareness and recognize how emotions manifest physically. By systematically releasing tension, children learn to identify and manage stress signals in their body. It's particularly effective for children who experience somatic symptoms of anxiety.

How to do it:

• Sit or lie down in a comfortable position

• Close your eyes and take a deep breath

• Start at your toes and wiggle them

• Imagine sending a warm, relaxing light to your toes

• Slowly move the warm light up to your feet

• Let your feet feel heavy and relaxed

• Move the light up to your legs

• Feel any tension melting away

• Bring the light to your tummy

• Take a deep breath and let your tummy rise and fall

• Move the light to your chest and shoulders

• Let your shoulders drop and feel soft

• Send the light down your arms to your fingertips

• Wiggle your fingers

• Move the light to your neck and head

• Let your face feel smooth and calm

• Take one more deep breath

• Open your eyes when you're ready

7. Worry Stone Technique

A tangible tool for managing anxiety, the worry stone provides a physical anchor during emotional turbulence. The stone serves as a sensory intervention, offering a consistent, calming touchpoint that children can rely on when feeling overwhelmed. It transforms abstract emotional management into a concrete, touchable experience.

How to do it:

• Go on a special stone-finding adventure

• Choose a smooth stone that fits in your palm

• Look for a stone that feels good to touch

• Clean the stone and make it your special worry stone

• Keep the stone in your pocket or backpack

• When you feel worried or upset, hold the stone

• Close your eyes and take a deep breath

• Feel the stone's texture

• Is it cool or warm?

• Is it smooth or has tiny bumps?

• Rub the stone gently

• Imagine the stone is taking away your worries

• Whisper to the stone if you want

• "It's okay. I am safe."

• Put the stone back in your pocket

• Remember, you are stronger than your worries

8. Bubble Breathing

By transforming deep breathing into a playful, imaginative activity, this technique makes emotional regulation enjoyable. The visualization of creating perfect bubbles helps children focus on their breath while providing a sense of achievement and control. It's particularly effective for younger children who might find traditional breathing exercises boring.

How to do it:

• Stand or sit up tall

• Imagine you have a magic bubble wand

• Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose

• Imagine filling your lungs with calm air

• Slowly breathe out, pretending to blow the biggest, most delicate bubble

• Imagine the bubble is so thin, it could pop any second

• Try to blow it so gently that it doesn't break

• Make the bubble as big as you can

• Repeat 3-5 times

• Notice how calm and powerful your breath can be

9. Safe Place Visualization

This mental technique creates an internal sanctuary that children can access during stressful moments. By developing a vivid, multi-sensory safe space, children learn to self-soothe and develop internal emotional resources. It's a powerful tool for building resilience and emotional self-regulation.

How to do it:

• Find a quiet, comfortable spot

• Sit or lie down in a relaxed position

• Close your eyes

• Take three deep breaths

• Start imagining your safe place

• Use all your senses: What do you see?

• What sounds are around you?

• Can you feel the temperature?

• Are there any smells?

• Make your safe place as detailed as possible

• Imagine yourself feeling completely calm and protected

• Stay in this place for 3-5 minutes

• When ready, slowly open your eyes

10. Rhythmic Tapping

Grounded in an understanding of the nervous system, rhythmic tapping helps reset emotional responses. The consistent, predictable rhythm helps regulate heart rate and provides a simple, physical method of interrupting anxious thought patterns. It's especially useful for children who need a physical outlet for emotional energy.

How to do it:

• Sit in a chair or on the floor

• Place your hands on your knees

• Start tapping your right knee, then left knee

• Create a slow, steady rhythm

• Try to make the taps gentle but firm

• Sync your tapping with your breathing

• Inhale on one tap, exhale on the next

• Continue for 1-2 minutes

• Notice how the rhythm helps you feel calmer and centered